How to Deal with Energy Vampires

Blood sucking vampires? My partner loves them.
He voraciously watches everything from Vampire Diaries to Interview with a Vampire. I can’t stand violence, so this is not a shared obsession. Though our baby (pictured here) often says, “more,” he’s in no way an energy vampire.

But I had to wonder, why the obsession with vampires? They are immortal, energy workers who are basically the opposite of light beings. Eternal life only sustained through the blood and life-energy of others. There’s a bittersweet sadness to it. And really, it happens all the time. Their situation is tragic but relatable, and in this way it is very real.

We’ve all been in situations where someone takes and takes and doesn’t give anything back in return.
It is annoying at best and draining and life-sucking at worst. We notice this is happening to us when we feel tapped out, down or tired after being with a person.

Of course, we all have bad days or weeks. We all need to lean on friends and they need to lean on us. This is a natural part of the give and take of healthy friendships and happens from time to time if a friend or we are going through something. What we are talking about is a consistent pattern; if it happens all the time then we’re dealing with a vampire- an energy sucker.lostboys

The biggest energy vampire of my life studied Philosophy alongside me at UC Berkeley.
She often wanted help with classes, moving her stuff, to borrow money. All of these things I was happy to do as I appreciated having another smart, outspoken woman comrade in a sea of male philosophy students. When she started to date my close friends 1 by 1, and finally stopped with trying to nail my current boyfriend, I knew she had to go. No matter how bad I felt for her, as an immigrant with no family to help, when she asked to borrow my car after that I started to pull away. When I finally cut the cord completely, I felt absolutely liberated! Even the guilt of saying no over and over again was draining my energy.vampireteeth

All of a sudden, I had a slew of wonderful new people in my life.There was finally space for them, now the bad juju of the energy vampire was gone.
This was a huge lesson for me. I bid her farewell kindly, knowing that to others she may become their awesome best friend but she and I weren’t meant to be.

Since then, I’ve learned to develop a practice for dealing with energy vampires to cut it off at the pass.

Here’s the Yogi-Energy good-stuff garlic:

Get comfy with saying no.No
There’s no better way than just being direct. We aren’t here to please others; we are here to please ourselves. When we do things out of obligation, the energy of that carries. It helps no one. “No” can be your best friend.

Ask yourself: what are they here to teach you?
insightThere’s always a lesson in every connection. My college vampire taught me that I’d been giving way too much and receiving nothing in return. I never did that again. Once I gained the lesson, I didn’t need to continue the painful relationship and could set her and myself free.

Blessings; send them off with loveblessings
They aren’t wrong and we aren’t wrong. It’s just not the right match at the right time. So instead of trash-talking or blaming, send them off with love. This clears the energy right up and frees you for the next new thing.

Renew and notice the new that comes in
newpathWhenever we clear something out it opens space for the new thing that is exactly what we need. This happened over and over to me with relationships. I could never find a new boyfriend while I was dangling an old one around. I had to make a clean break for the next phase of my life to begin.

If you are dealing with an energy sucker right now, I hope this helps you lovingly kick them to the curb. If you encounter one in the future, now you’ve got some great tools to use! Whatever is going on, take a step back from the situation and make sure to care for yourself.

We only try to sap others’ energy when we don’t have enough of our own.

Cultivate your energy and light and spread the love.
Manifest&RestClass In LA? Join us to manifest, recharge and then rest in a sweet and fierce yoga flow this Thursday.
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Vampires beware and continue to share

the good energy,


P.S. My little boo, pictured above, scarfing down beets when he was 1 year old, is the opposite of an energy sucker. Though he makes the cutest vampire-looking kid I’ve ever seen, he is totally not one. I thought he might be, but when he came I realized that sometimes the things we think might tap us out actually feed us beyond our wildest imaginations. These situations are amazing blessings and always good ones to keep an eye out for!

P.P.S. Speaking of energy, check out my most popular article, shared over 11,000 times. I’m in the process of developing a Decolonize Your Practice Yoga Training so let me know if you are interested in more conversation on these topics.